I just want to draw for fun, I want to feel good putting lines down. I fucking despise my perfectionism, and I hate how it makes me quit so much. My feels right now are anger and shame for no fucking reason.
Maybe you don't care about this now and think I'm being a pretentious fag for making this huge post about all this and I don't blame you, but it's only because I've lived through this scenario and am still coping with the fallout to this day that I have so much to say about it.
It's not just the time spent either, but it's the habits and the very real chemical dependency on instantaneous reward being formed that has the potential to ultimately subvert any future attempts at self improvement in other areas that ought to be taken into account. I've been there, but the realization hits you later-perhaps too late-that you could have and should have shaved several hours off of that self-indulgent behavior working on yourself in a more holistic way every night, as you could end up feeling very bad about it later while finding yourself ill-equipped for a variety of reasons to make up for that lost time.
I was a fairly competitive Counter-Strike player for well over a decade, every day I would come home from work and do nothing but FRAG and it was honestly the greatest shit. The only question is do you realize and act on it now or 15 years from now? At what point do you think stopping or greatly moderating your current trajectory will be more painful? It's really something to think about.
At long last asap cover 1000x1000 software#
Assuming you don't already know and just don't care, one day you'll realize that modern multiplayer vidya is a scam, and that all the numeric and graphical baubles they'd embedded into their software in mere minutes and have enshrined to your personally-identifying account to enslave and ingratiate you to their software program aren't the symbols of accomplishment they portray themselves as.
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